Tuesday 5 January 2010

Welcome to Toldois Creedmoor!

BS"D

The Schmoigerman rabbinical crime family can trace its roots far deeper than even the most ardent Creedmoor chossid may actually know. Indeed, it started at that greatest of times for the likes of the Schmoigermans, the time of Kamtza and bar Kamtza, the time of yoshke, of the tzedukim, and, most importantly, the time of the end of the curse of tzioinish rule and the beginning of the long golus that now allows the Admou"r meCreedmoor to live long and prosper thanks to insurance and bank fraud as well as the holy and exalted US and EU welfare and entitlement system as well as tzionish bituach leumi.

We have traced the roots of the Schmoigerman dynasty of gezel, mirma, machloikes and mesira to the period preceding Churban Bayis Sheini, which marked the end of tzionish rule over Eretz Yisrul.

The Schmoigerman contribution to this churban is in fact so important that the International Court of Injustice in the Hog, Holland is presently ruling on a sheaf of insurance claims submitted by the present leader of the Schmoigerman family, the one and only Admou"r meCreedmoor, claiming that his direct ancestors had title to the Beis haMikdash as they are descendants of Menelaus Cohen Sheker, and that therefore he is entitled to payment of an insurance policy purchased from a Roman insurer whom he claims was purchased by the renowned "Assicurazoni Generali" group in 130 CE.\

Therefore, and in support of this claim, we at the archival fabrication department of Der Shygetz - The Creedmoor Chronicles, are proud to present Toldois Creedmoor, the history of the Creedmoorer Chassidus of the Schmoigerman family, going back to approximately the time of yushke rabbynee.

We hope that you will enjoy and be rapidly expired by the proud and decapitated history of the Schmoigerman family, from whom our grand Admou"r has not quite yet descended.

Rabbi Dr Gimpel Pashkvilkemacher
Editor
Der Shygetz (Creedmoor), successor to Ponim Chalashois (Bidapesht)
Der Vochedige Velt-Barimte Pashkvilke (al-Qods as-Sharif and Teheran)

2 comments:

  1. Bravo. Although try and be careful - we all know what happened to the previous Editor of Toldois Creedomoor... His life was insured for seven million dollars (the beneficiary being one of a certain person's aliases) and he died under suspicious circumstances.

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  2. BS"D

    :) ah, nothing to worry about, you see! It was only one of the former editor's personalities. I actually helped dig the kever that the Admou"r presented as evidence to various insurance companies and state death benefit agencies :))!

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